Lesson Five:
You're Drunk Again!!

Unless you are a camel wandering through a desert, you probably can't go a full day without some sort of liquid refreshment. We all need it. in one form or another. Some take it as water, others as milk. Then again many like to spice up their water with a little scotch (or vice versa).

Everyone likes to go out for dinner now and again with family or friends; it is a social custom. Here in Japan, going out for dinner in the big cities is more like a religion. Food is a religion! I grew up watching a lot of TV and in the programs, I hardly ever say (never actually) anyone eating or drinking. Come to think of it, I never saw anyone ever head off to the toilet either, but that's beside the point. Not until Michael J. Fox started drinking orange juice in Family Ties did we see that kind of thing. It was a shock to my senses.

Then I came to Japan and got another, bigger shock. Everything seems to revolve around food. In the TV programs everyone is always eating. You can even see the bits of food sticking between their teeth (yuck) as they carry on a full-blown conversation and chew at the same time. There are comics and cartoons that relvolve around food. Heck, there are even animated characters that are foods. Everywhere you look, there is food, food, food.

In this lesson, we will take the theme of food or dining to new heights by teaching you how to ask someone if they want to go drinking! This is another favorite past time among people in Japan. If you aren't careful, you may find yourself one morning wondering who is jackhammering on your head.

After all this talking, I'm feeling a bit parched. Issho ni nomimasho ka?

By the way, as you are probably getting used to the sounds of Japanese by now, I am going to start cutting down on the number of sound files for you to listen to. Hope you don't mind. And as for colors, now that you have the hang of sentence structure, you should be able to figure out which word means what if I continue to write the English and Japanese. If you are stumped, write to me and ask me.

The Lead-in

To date, the only real verbs you have been using are arimasu, imasu, and desu. That's great if all you want to do is talk about the existence of things, but what if you feel there is more to life than mere existence? Well, first of all it would help to know that Japanese has a polite form and a plain form. The polite form of the verb ends in -masu and the plain form usually ends in -u or -ru. For example, the plain form of the above verbs is aru, iru and da.

Most texts will tell you to stick with the polite form in conversation because that is what is used most often. I disagree. Sure it is important. And you need to know it so you understand what people are saying to you and also so that you don't make yourself look like a redneck. Polite form definitely has its place. But, I say to you, once you have made friends or acquaintances that you are comfortable with, it is perfectly acceptable to speak in the plain form. Japan is not that anally retentive that they stick like glue to the format of the spoken and written word. Trust your feelings on the situation and go with whichever style best suits the case. For example, it would seem really strange to speak to your children using the polite form of verbs. But why not? If you want your children to grow up speaking politely, you as parents should be speaking the same way to them. How are you going to expect them to say, "please sir, may I have some more?" when all the time you are belching out something like, "ain't yer got any more grub?"

The Verb Forms

Almost all verbs fall into one of two categories. The first category is called the -iru/-eru verbs. These verbs have a plain form that endsin either -iru or -eru. The polite form is made by dropping the -ru and adding -masu. Here are a few examples:

Here is an example of what it would look like in a simple sentence:

-iru/-eru verbs

oshie.ru	oshiemasu	teach, inform
tabe.ru	tabemasu	eat
i.ru	imasu	there is (living things), stay
mi.ru	mimasu	see

The second group of verbs are sometimes known as -u verbs. To make their polite form, just drop the final -u and add imasu. Here are a few examples:

ar.u	arimasu	there is (non-living) things
waka.ru	wakarimasu	understand
owar.u	owarimasu	finish
kir.u	kirimasu	cut
nom.u	nomimasu	drink (you were waiting for this one, right?)
yom.u	yomimasu	read
hatarak.u	hatarakimasu	work
kak.u	kakimasu	write
oyog.u	oyogimasu	swim
a.u	aimasu	meet
ka.u	kaimasu	buy

If the -u verbs end in -su and -tsu, they are a little different and converted to the polite form this way:

hanas.u	hanashimasu	speak, talk
mats.u	machimasu	wait for

The ones that end in -su usually have their final -u replaced by himasu. The final -u in the -tsu verbs gets droppes as does the previous -ts. This is then replaced by -chimasu for ease of pronunciation.

There are only two, count them two irregular verbs. They are suru (to do), which becomes shimasu and kuru (come), which is read as kimasu.

One of the nice things about Japanese is that you are free to "do" most anything that requires an action. That doesn't mean you free to walk around doing murder or doing damage to other peoples' property. What it does mean is that you can often put the verb "to do" or shimasu (suru) after what we call action nouns and voila! action verbs are born. Take a look at some examples below:

Action Nouns

benkyo	study	benkyo suru	to study
ryoko	travel	ryoko suru	to travel
kenbutsu	sightseeing	kenbutsu suru	to sightsee
kaimono	shopping	kaimono suru	to shop
dansu	dance	dansu suru	to dance
tenisu	tennis	tenisu suru	to play tennis

Another one of the nice things about Japanese verbs as I think I mentioned before, is that there is no conjugation; the verb style stays the same regardless of the persons involved. It makes for an easy life. All you have to do is determine whether you want to be more formal or less.

And yet another nice things about Japanese that cannot exist in English, is that it is entirely possible to leave out the subject of the sentence. For example,

	1.	Watashi wa benkyo shimasu. Benkyo shimasu.	I study
	2.	Anata wa kaimono shimasu ka? Kaimono shimasu ka?	Are you going shopping?

Kind of makes sense when you think about it, don't you think? I mean, if I am talking to you about going out for a drink with me at a really cool jazz bar, why do I have to use "you" and me"? You know who you are, right? And I hope that I still know who I am, even after downing five to ten draft beers on 10 cent draft night. So who needs it, right? On to more serious stuff.

The present plain form or the -masu ending verbs all refer to habitual actions, that is actions that occur all the time. For example:

	1.	Tomu-san wa maiban osake nomimasu.	Tom drinks every evening
	2.	Rainen mata kakimasu.	I am going to write to you again in a year or so.
	3.	Biyaa hooru wa boku no ie no chikaku ni arimasu.Yatta!	The beer hall is near my house. That's great!

Now it is time to get a little suggestive. How many times have you wanted to subtly suggest to the good looking guy or gal sitting next to you in the movie theatre that it might be a great idea to get to know each other a little better? Yet the words just stuck in the back of your throat like a spoonful of cold, day-old oatmeal, right? I am going to tell you how do suggest your way into a lot of situations like a pro. Getting out of those situations, especially if they turn out to be trickier than you first thought, is YOUR responsibility. Remember practice makes perfect.

Making Suggestions: -masho

When you want to suggest a course of action, you should add the ending -masho to the verb. Smile a little, raise an eyebrow, wink if you wish. And if he doesn't get your suggestion the first time, try it again (with an elbow to the ribs for emphasis).

	1.	Saa, tabemasho. Onaka ga peko-peko.	Well, let's eat. I'm famished!
	2.	Ima totemo hara tatsu. Raishuu mata hanashimasho.	I'm really ticked off. Let's talk about it again next week.

If you add the question particle ka after the suggestive version of the verb, you are politely asking them if you should do something. Like this:

	1.	Machimasho ka?	Shall I/we wait?
	2.	Mo ippai kaimashou ka?	Shall I get another round?

Y de X o shimasho: Let's Do It "Objectively"

O is a tiny little particle that lets you know which nouns are objects of verbs. The noun follows the O. It is such a tiny little sound that many people actually omit it in laziness. But you, the expert Japanese speaker should be certain to pronounce it or surely someone will correct your grammer (dropping their own "o"s even as they speak. "Oh!")

	1.	Taro-kun wa maiban menyu o yomimasu.	Taro reads the menu every evening.
	2.	Mai-tai o nomimasho ka?	Shall we drink mai-tais?

When you go to a bar or a restaurant, or anywhere for that matter, usually someone will come to you and ask you if you want nani-nani (something). Or maybe you will grab the waiter's attention and place an order yourself. In most cases it pays not to be a cretinous (is that a real word?), stuck-up snob about it. And you can dissipate that image of yourself simply by peppering your requests with "please" or "thank you" from time to time (the more often the better).

[Noun] o kudasai. is the simplest way to say please. If you want to be a little more polite, say [Noun] o-negai shimasu. And if you want to offer something to someone, substitute kudasai with dozo (sounds just like bozo).

	1.	Tsumayoji o kudasai.	A toothpick, please.
	2.	O-kawari, onegai shimasu. (Oliver Twist would love this expression)	Please, may I have some more?
	3.	Atama ga itai? Asupirin o dozo.	Does your head hurt? Please take this asprin.

Now it is time to throw you for a loop. Many verbs take o. Yet some of them take ni. For example,

1.

Kazuko-san wa raishu mata Hiroshi-kun ni aimasu.

Kazuko will meet Hiroshi again next week.

Getting "Particlarly" Difficult

There are more particles than just o and ni. The rules are there, but you really need to just get a feel for which to use. It takes time and ... yes, practice. I still make mistakes after 10 years. Which is why I tend to "lazy" my language and drop particles more often than I should as I don't want to make mistakes.

The particle de is used after place nouns when it indicates where the action of the sentence occurs. Ni can also be used after place nouns, but is only with a very limited number of verbs, most commonly aru and iru, which are concerned with static location rather than with action. Mite (look):

	1.	Tanaka -san wa doko de kaimono shimasu ka?	Where does Tanaka-san shop?
	2.	Tanaka-san wa doko ni imasu ka?	Where is Tanaka-san?

Ni is also used in defining places that one is going to. E can be used for this as well interchangeably. But note here that the "e" actually almost disappears when spoken at natural speed. Little things that make your language sound more natural.

	1.	Doko ni ikimasu ka?	Where are you going?
	2.	Pan-ya-san e iku yo!	To the bakery!

Au, matsu and benkyo suru all work as verbs of action rather than of static location. That is why you need to use the particle "de". De has another use. It can be used to indicate the thing by means of which an action is performed. And still another use of de is to relate to a means of communication.

	1.	Eki de aimasho.	Let's wait at the station.
	2.	Fooku de tabemasho.	Let's eat with forks.
	3.	Keeki o te de mochimasen ka?	Won't you hold the cake in your hands?
	4.	Kuroachia-go de hanashimasho. as opposed to Kuroachia-go o hanashimasho.	Let's speak in Croation. Let's speak Croatian.
	5.	Jiru-san wa maiban shinbun de Amerika no nyuusu o yomimasu.	Every evening Jill reads the news about America in the newspaper.
	6.	as opposed to: Jiru-san wa maiban shinbun o yomimasu.	Every evening Jill reads the newspaper.

This isn't an easy part, so don't get too frustrated if you don't get it right away. It just takes lots of practice and no matter how many books you read on the matter, it just doesn't stick that easily. Most minds are coated with good old Pam Cooking Oil.

As a word of consolation, Japanese people have one heck of a time understand when to use "a book" and when to use "the book". Try to explain this little particle in a class. Picture the room filling up with giant question marks.

Plain Jane Orange Burst Sherbet: The Plain Form of Colorful Adjectives

For those of you who still think it is "sherbert", it isn't. Get that out of your mind right now. It is "sherbet". Like ice cream and verbs, adjectives also have plain forms; they occur at the end of sentences whenever the use of plain forms is appropriate. If you put an adjective before a noun, the form is the same. This doesn't change with change of speech patterns at all. So don't worry. Nice to know, yes?

In the case of the -i adjective (remember those colorful little adjectives way back in Lesson Three?) all you have to do is drop the verb desu.

	1.	A, kawaii.	How sweet!
	2.	Nan kyoku wa samui.	Antarctica is cold.

Na adjectives use the plain form of desu, which is da, instead of desu itself. But in informal speech (probably most of your entire life's conversations) we drop the da all together. Women skip it in their speech. (It is interesting to note here that many patterns women use, if used by men, make the men sound rather funny, and quite possible gay - so guys, watch what kind of Japanese you pick up from your Japanese girlfriends). Women often replace da with yo at the end of sentences. It really does soften the nuance and sounds quite feminine (to a person who has been here for 10 years now).

	1.	Kore wa taisetsu da.	This is important. (male speaker)
	2.	Kore wa taisetsu yo.	This is important. (female speaker)

If you want to state a negative using an adjective, all you have to do is put nai after the adjective (or drop the -i and add nai in the case of the -i adjectives).

	1.	Kono hoteru wa amari yoku nai.	This hotel isn't very good.
	2.	Ano nomiya wa shizuka ja nai.	That bar isn't quiet.

You Gotta Have Wa

This is a the title of a book on the philosophy of Japanese baseball that an aquaintance of mine read over and over and over and over while trying very unsuccessfully to assimilate himself into the Japanese culture. I guess he just never got it. One of the kanji which is pronounced "wa", means peace and harmony:

This isn't related to the above interjection. The use of wa (or ha to be a little more correct), which is linked to the main function of indicating the topic of a sentence, was introduced briefly in a previous lesson. When you want to make explicit contrasts such as "beer is good. But vodka is not good." you would do something like this:

1.

Biiru wa oishii. Shikashi, uokka wa oishiku nai.

If only one of the two or three things being compared it talked about, the contrast is implied.

	A:	Ne, chikaku ni nomiya ga arimasu ka?	Hey, is there a bar near here?
	B:	Soopurando wa takusan arimasu ga...	There are lots of brothels (but no bars)

Quick pronunciation point: this "wa or ha" is not pronounced with a strong w sound. I can't think of an appropriate English equivalent, so just use your judgement and slur it a bit, as if you had had a bit too much to drink and your tongue isn't going exactly where you want. If you are too young to drink, pretend you just came back from the dentist and your tongue and lips are still frozen.

Konna, Sonna, Anna, Donna: This/that/what sort of

Remember when we learned about kore, sore, are, dore, kono, sono, ano, dono? (in Lesson Three) Well, we can use words from the same family to indicate this/that sort of thing.

	1.	Konna koppu wa totemo benri.	This kind of cup is really handy.
	2.	Watashi wa anna tokoro de wa tabemasen yo!	I refuse to eat at that kind of place!
	3.	Donna kamera o kaimasu ka?	What kind of camera are you going to buy?

If you put the particle ni after these words, you get a meaning that is something like: to this/that/what extent.

	1.	Samui desu ne. Nihon no fuyu wa konna ni samui desu ka?	It's cold, isn't it. Are Japanese winters this cold?
	2.	Boku wa totemo namakemono desu. Sonna ni hatarakanai.	I am very lazy. I don't work that much.

Nan/Nani: What? What? What?

Nan and nani are different ways of pronouncing the same word. It really isn't fixed by any rules or anything. Before ga, o and mo (you learn this particle later on) we use nani, while before no, de and da/desu nan is used. Before ka and ni, both can be used interchangeably. Nani is preferred in more formal language.

	1.	Tokyo de nani o kaimasu ka?	What will you buy in Tokyo?
	2.	Kono keeki o nan de tabemasho ka?	What should I eat this cake with?

[Question word] ka: dare ka, doko ka, nani ka, itsu ka

Using this form is like adding some- to the questions asked. Dare ka means someone, Doko ka means somewhere, Nani ka means something, Itsu ka means sometime. Simple. Right? Right. Remember if you use this form, you should usually omit the o and ga that show up in sentences.

	1.	Dare ka imasu ka? Kowai!!	Is anybody there? I'm scared!!
	2.	Nani ka nomimasho ka?	Shall we drink something?
	3.	Raishuu mata doko ka de aimasho.	Let's meet again somewhere next week.

Renshuu: Practice Makes Perfect

(Note: I said this in the last lesson, but for the sake of redundancy will repeat myself repetively. If you jumped straight into this lesson without reading the introduction to the FREE! Japanese Lessons, go back now and read the Important Note for Power Students. If you think you know it all already, just go to the bottom of this page and grab the latest version of the program you need to hear the sound files. This is the absolute last time I will be making this disclaimer. I swear by the hair of my chinny chin chin (Italians say "chin chin" when they toast each other. Send me an e-mail and ask me what "chin chin" means in Japanese!)

It is so true what they say: Practice Makes Perfect. This is probably a really great lesson to practice your Japanese skills as often as you can. Why don't you try this: every day, ask five people, "issho ni nomimasho ka?". In no time, you will be slurring up a storm right along side of the best of them. On top of that, this practice will probably make you a world-class drinker (or a tea-totaller). Then on your way home, when you are trying to catch the last train out, you can pick up one of those little snake-gonad-ginseng power drinks for hangovers that they sell at the kiosks in the train station. So gambatte, nonde kudasai.

The Culture Pocket: Food and the Japanese Mind

My home town of Winnipeg, Manitoba (Canada) proudly touts itself has having the most restaurants per capita in Canada. Well, urban Japan definitely takes the cake. Everywhere you go there are restaurants of one sort or another. Expensive ones, cheap ones, very expensive ones and so on. Perhaps not as central to life as food is in China, nonetheless it plays a major roll in daily life.

One of the really nice things for foreigners in Japan that are not familiar with the language (this need not apply to you because you are by now a pro in the language, spouting off Homer and Jackie Collins at will) is that most restaurants have a display case with all of the items on the menu formed in plastic. And they look so unbelievably real that you wouldn't believe they were plastic. But they are. Often I have tried to ask if I could take them home or even buy them and take them home but to no avail. They are a real help when you can't read the menu. I took a trip to Korea just recently (June 1999) and was totally at a loss as to what to order. I didn't speak the language, I couldn't read the menu and there were not even any little pictures to choose from. I ended up with a kind of ultra-hot, dessicate-your-eyeballs, whole-chicken-in-a-broth soup/stew that was not too bad once I got used to my tongue being on fire all the time. Live and learn I guess. Since then I started to study a bit of Korean. I can now ask where the toilet is, and know how to ask for more water. So I am progressing! Where there is a well, there is a bucket (or something like that).

When you walk into a restaurant, people will say to you, "Irrasshaimase" (Welcome). You don't need to respond. It isn't expected and again, you will be considered the "hen na gaijin" (weird foreigner) if you respond to this greeting. They will usually ask you how many people are in your party (Nan mei sama desho ka?). Tell them simply by showing the number of fingers that are appropriate. You can wow them with your knowledge in the language by telling them how many as well (ichi, ni, san, etc.) You will then be wisked away to a smoking table. Smoking is the standard here, unlike the ultra-"healthy" North America where if you have a cigarette inside your own car, with the windows rolled up, these days in a public place you are likely to get dragged into court. You can ask for non-smoking if you want (Kin en seki o kudasai) but don't be surprised if they tell you they don't have any. Just grin and bear it (think of it as another cultural experience). O-nomimono wa? (would you like something to drink?) may be the first question your server asks. Then again, maybe not. But now is your chance to put your excellent ordering skills into practice. What do you say? That's right, "O-mizu kudasai. Watashi wa unten shite imasu." (Water, please. I'm driving.). But you could ask for biiru/koohi/wain/ocha or whatever else you want (beer/coffee/wine/green tea). Just for fun, try asking for miruku and watch the expression on the faces of those around you as the thought of drinking milk while eating rice forms a slurry in theyir mind (beer and rice and cigarettes at the same time are perfectly acceptable, though).

When your order comes, it usually comes with the bill which they roll up and stick in a cute little plexiglass tube that is conveniently sitting there waiting to collect your bill. At least at the budget family restaurants where I can only afford to go, they do. More expensive places often don't even give you a bill. They just tell you how much to pay and you do without asking any questions. That would be rude if you did. (I love this country and everything about it, honest!) Pay at the cash register as you leave. DO NOT leave the money on the table and walk away. You will cause much confusion. They will more than likely run after you. And tipping is not expected, nor necessary. More than likely a struggle to return the tip will ensue. But if you like struggles who am I to say no?

If you need to leave before your bill arrives, just say, "Kanjo o onegai shimasu." (The bill, please.) You can do that because you now know how to ask for things. But don't say "Kancho o onegai shimasu." because you would then be asking for an enema. C and J, clearly pronounced are essential here. It might be wise to remember that point.

I almost forgot; unless you are loaded with tons of money to burn, you may want to know how to ask how much something is: "Ikura desu ka?" Or just, "Ikura?" But if you are pointing at red salmon roe while asking that question, the answer may be a confusing: "Hai. So desu", because salmon eggs are also known as ikura.

And just for one last freebie, I am going to do my favorite impersonation of my best friend Yoshida-kun. You may have met him on some of our rides in Shizen Taiken. He is also the same Yoshida who makes the Yoshida Ranma that I think are so fantastic. He comes from Yamanaka Onsen in Ishikawa Prefecture. He loves nature as much as I do and if he isn't at home working then he is deep in the mountains either riding his mountain bike or his motorbike. But his speech patterns are just so darn lovable. In fact, the entire family speaks exactly the same way. And they all love nature. They don't use any chemicals on their garden vegetables and they don't buy veggies from the supermarket for that reason. He believes that nature is precious. And this is what he says. So without further ado, I give you my impersonation of Masaki Yoshida. May he live and ride forever:

Until next time, enjoy the studying and

If you have any questions or comments, please contact sensei by writing to info @ japanippon (dot) com for details.

August 14th, 1999

Click the links below to get the program that allows you to listen to the examples.

NOTE: It seems that Qualcomm has had some copyright infringement lawsuits that it is currently dealing with and their website has been shut down. This means that this software is no longer available. Please feel free to continue with the lessons, but just skip the audio tracks. I'm very sorry about this. (Sensei, 2008/03/01)

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